Thanatos
2023
short film 2’42
I am swimming,
I am floating,
I am growing,
I am flashing,
I am rotating,
I am flowwing,
I am proliferating,
I am ruining.
I am a mayfly,
I am a machine,
I am a fragment of comet.
I am the urban light,
I am the Styx river,
I am every drop of rain.
My love,
Please dream me again,
We part here for ever.
Death comes.
Mom,
Born me again,
In this eternal sunset,
Thanatos.
Sometimes I feel that death drive is a primordial impulse like love.
I was reading Bukowski's poetry, Love is a dog from hell, and there's a poem called an almost made up poem.
I have read a part of this poem in the film.
“I loved you
like a man loves a woman he never touches, only
writes to, keeps little photographs of. I would have
loved you more if I had sat in a small room rolling a
cigarette and listened to you piss in the bathroom,
but that didn’t happen. your letters got sadder.
your lovers betrayed you. kid, I wrote back, all
lovers betray. it didn’t help. you said
you had a crying bench and it was by a bridge and
the bridge was over a river and you sat on the crying
bench every night and wept for the lovers who had
hurt and forgotten you. I wrote back but never
heard again. a friend wrote me of your suicide
3 or 4 months after it happened. if I had met you
I would probably have been unfair to you or you
to me. it was best like this.”
Bukowski, Charles. an almost made up poem